It takes a village to bury a child, I read
But I haven’t buried mine
She remains, her remains
in the bag that I brought
her home in – in the
trunk of my car
from Tucson
where they killed her
Because the horror of
her being in a purple grocery bag
on my nightstand
does not yet outweigh
the confusion
of burying her
Author: Julia Clevenger
Defenders? Judges? Justice?
Work hard to do your best at a mission you believe in?
No room for the pain?
or all room for their pain?
Know me and where would you go?
Know her and pray it away?
Know him and take pride?
Your purpose, drive, vocation?
Traded for him, her, me?
What can you do?
Change the formula, the process?
Complacent or Compliant?
It’s the only thing we have?
No it’s what we have been left with
After the money is dolled out
for your rent and food and cars and drinks.
Status quo suits you.
Just another day
Laughter in the halls
Just another day
Check it off the list
Just another day
Look the part
work the round brush
to give them the brush
off, on to the next
damage done or undone
to be done or
not yet done
no fault no blame
just another day
Laughter in the hall
after you checked it off
the list and
pushed the button
to the next savior
to save
the next dealer
provider, stealer
of hearts and lives
push the button
just another day
to the top or to
the bottom
Laughter in the halls
Just another day
World Series
We sat right here
before they opened
All together
special guests
because of our(his) patronage
and because everyone
loved him and you two
The Angels in the World Series
and around the table
you two
feeling special
because your daddy was
It was such a great memory
forever engrained
I hope they don’t know that memory
I didn’t know what it could mean
how much more it could mean
now.
Failed Again
Leaving Tucson heartbroken
Open again
Did I do this
Whole year wrong
Did I leave him
Alone for too long
More than he let on
Did I take the easy way out
Did I let her down
again
Just dropping in
Short days at a time
Thinking of me first
Ill-equipped for more
Now there is a local family
What am I supposed to be
To do
Why isn’t she here
My baby girl replaced.
Held together
Zip-ties and cellophane
Cotton and silk
You and them
Pasted on smile
As I seep and spoil
through the gaps
of what binds me
Bled
One foot here
One on the other side
Half my heart there
Split down the middle
All the way through
Which side do I join.
Damn it
She was here
She was mine
She existed in this world
She teased and loved
and yelled and cried
and laughed – so much
She was here
She was mine
She exists in my soul
Cry
Can’t look up
Can’t unfold
Can’t stop
Can’t face it
Can’t see
Can’t stop
Can’t believe
Can’t breathe
Can’t stop
Choice
All the things I gave up
Because I couldn’t see past
Me and you
And the pain, I
Couldn’t get past the fear and pain
To the truth I was too scared to speak
The loss unnecessary
Caused such deep hurt
Now we are where we should be
That’s the forgiveness for the choice
Is where we are worth what we missed.
