Yellow Hearts and Black Hair Ties

The residue of my nightmare
clings to my brain
The shrapnel from my shattering
shreds my heart
The dripping of our loss
sours my soul

I saw your face this time
Your real face
the look that you rely
on the alcohol to hider

Wonder how he’s coped
with your moods
that are apparent
during the fragileness
of the morning after
of teh vulnerability
of the hangover
that makes you
hate the alcohol
not because of the
pain you wield
on her but because
of the exposure it
requires of you.

How many more nights
until I am done
How many more days
until its over
How many more
sunsets, sunrises,
high noons, and blue moons,
before I can join you.

Remembered I had
a daughter
didn’t remember that
she was dead
then remember her death
was how she knew of her

Quietly watching
observant and cool
It’ll come out
someday
with a tune

In the same room
after how long
too long and
too few phone calls
In the same room
after years of a
three state distance
In the same room
after 13 years since
we showered in the
same tub.
In the same room
after the screams
and pleads
In the same room
after the drinks
and shrinks
In the same room
and still
drawn to your side

Wish today was the day
the day I prayed for
when I still believed
with today was the day
the day you promised
when you were still
to be believed
wish today was the day
that you came back

Got to Daydream to
hide and again
like at Dart on
my solo trip
the name after
mine was hers.

The anger
their laughter
exposes
they must be
doing it on purpose
be selfish in
that way
to not just
keep their
glee with each other
to themselves
so I can be at
peace.